*Fishbowl
Go Fish
watercolor by Nancy Condit
Fishbowl
Day 23 — March 3
Facebook is like a fishbowl, each of us gazing upon our network of friends with both amusement and detachment. Elizabeth loved this fun watercolor by Nancy Condit that depicts the fish inside the bowl living in community together. But there are, also, fish outside the bowl. It’s impossible to know whether they have escaped, or whether they are longing to get inside.
Elizabeth appreciated connecting with others through Facebook, especially groups for those with cardiomyopathy, those with the same LMNA genetic mutation, and those who had a heart transplant.
For me, Facebook provided the opportunity for friends and family to join in a ritual of remembrance while Elizabeth was in hospice. Last year on March 2, I posted this: As my beloved Elizabeth journeys towards the end of her life in hospice care, I invite those of you who have known her, to share a word, a phrase, or a story, that honors her.
Several days later, when I was awake in the middle of the night, I read the profoundly beautiful remembrances to her not knowing if she was able to hear and receive them…
WORDS that were shared:
smart, funny, friendly, positive, talented, inquisitive, unique, bubbly, caring, genuine, curious, bright, articulate, courageous, warm, thoughtful, strong, delicate, brilliant, witty, personable, vivacious, assertive, sweet, encouraging
PHRASES that were shared:
open smile, intense curiosity, full of knowledge, great sense of humor, uplifting to be around, so positive that it was infectious, genuine passion for great art and music, exceedingly generous, blue eyes of kindness and affection, wonderful wife and mother, so darn smart, always learning, justice-seeking, makes you feel important, had big creative ideas
A selection of the STORIES that were shared:
Jenifer Hess Howard - When my daughter started at the University of Denver, Elizabeth took my daughter out to lunch, provided her a bicycle for her to use on campus, and was a mother figure when we were so far away. She was a very special woman.
Beth Ann Romich - Elizabeth’s love for life was so apparent and contagious. Also loved how she loved to feel my stomach when I was pregnant. She wasn’t a Mom yet and was enthralled by a growing life. She always called me an earth mother and I loved to talk nutrition with her. I will always remember her kind words, such an intellectual person with such a welcoming and giving heart to others.
Sean Middleswart - Elizabeth always made eye contact, and truly listened to you when talking. She cared what you had to say and was very attentive. Her sweet personality was evident the moment you saw her, and her love of her dogs was a joy to see.
David Rutherford - I think the one word I would use to describe her is "engaged." When you talked to Elizabeth, she was completely engaged and invested in listening and talking with you. Her eyes said it all —deeply expressive and bright with the joy of life. Whenever she did something, she was all-in.
Suzy Bird Gulliver - I think of Liz as a teenager as smart and true to herself! In a developmental period that many kiddos are trying on different personas, Liz was Liz, through and through.
Cathy Baldwin - We met through a shared mutant gene, discovered a mutual local history across the pond, and developed a friendship despite never having met.
Kari Epstein - Her entire demeanor seemed amazed and joyous at the every day aspects of life. She always sparkled with happiness.
Jon Chetham - Elizabeth was lively, bold and full of spirit. You can imagine she led us in a merry dance for 12 months (studying abroad in England), and I recall her oft used phrase during that period, “just kidding, you guys!” like yesterday. When you are with Elizabeth she makes you laugh. When you think about Elizabeth it makes you smile.
Monica Pino - Friendship. Elizabeth had a way of always being the only friend in my life here for me when I needed someone. Even the times I wasn't aware that I needed anyone.
Cyndy Dionysus Elion - I met Elizabeth through our Facebook cardiomyopathy group. When I hit a very low point in my life she came to my rescue, being a friend, helping me in any way she could. She was this awesome force that comforted. When I had nowhere to turn she was there pushing and rooting for me.
Karen Spieth Ray - I have many treasured memories with Elizabeth—at Messiah Lutheran Church (she had so much fun trying to get baby Henry to eat), by the pool at Lowry Swim Club (where she had THE most profound impact on my spirituality), the Denver Art Museum (Elizabeth is the reason I've been a docent for 17 years). What a loving, caring, bright, curious, ebullient soul. The world is truly a better place, and I am a better person, due to Elizabeth. She wanted to change the world and has for so many people!
Hale McSharry - When I was 12, I came to Denver to attend Suzuki camp with Preston. I was young and away from home for the first time and Elizabeth was the perfect gentle and comforting presence in my world. Elizabeth was an amazing and caring aunt and mother, I will always remember her as a creative and curious soul who is a vital member of our family. I love her very much.
Mollie Chase - When I met Elizabeth, I was in a place of feeling strange and weird and "other" compared to my peers. I had little self-confidence or self-worth, and yet Elizabeth thought I was neat just as I was. She compared my complexion to an English rose, and was genuinely interested in what I thought, which was unusual at that time for me. She will always be a special person to me.
Kate Eaton - Strong, clear, and willing to stand up for what she believes in. She has such beautiful blue eyes that meet you with attention straight from her heart. Her beauty is timeless too!
I received these Facebook sharings with gratitude at the time, and they are all the more poignant and appreciated now one year later. Thank you for remembering with me.
Day 23: the art of love and loss
view all posts at kentmueller.com
February 10, 2020, was the day my wife, Elizabeth Izant, entered the hospital. She and I were on a hopeful journey following her heart transplant five months prior. On March 1, she entered hospice and died March 11. This series is not about her medical journey. This is about sharing stories and reflections about our life together. In our 29 years of marriage, we collected a piece of art or two each year, often in celebration of our marriage anniversary. Each day from February 10 to March 11, I will be sharing an image of that art. And a story.